15 Lenses of Perception
In order to see if your lens is distorted you need to turn on your light first.
What lense do you use to view the world?
Every conversation you have is filtered through a lens.
Have you ever noticed how two people can be in the same conversation… and walk away with completely different stories?
Like one person is thinking, “That went fine.” and the other one is like, “…we are no longer speaking.”
Same conversation. Different realities. So the question is… what’s going on there?
What if my problem is as simple as a lens?
You’re not reacting to reality. You’re reacting to your version of reality. We all are. Your brain is fast. Too fast sometimes. It fills in gaps, predicts outcomes, protects you… and occasionally makes things way more dramatic than they actually are.
That filter? That’s what we call a lens, and once you can see your lens… you can finally stop being run by it.
Take a good self reflection
This isn’t about fixing yourself. Relax. You’re not broken. You’re just… human. These lenses are patterns. We all use them. The goal isn’t to get rid of them overnight. It’s to notice them. Because that moment when you catch it? That’s where everything changes.
The Story Teller
You ever turn a two-word reply into a full emotional documentary?
Yeah. That’s your brain filling in blanks like it’s getting paid for it.
The Guard
They’re talking…
and you’re already preparing your response like it’s a debate.
Welcome to defense mode.
The Throne
You’re not just discussing an idea…
you’re defending your identity.
Now it’s personal.
The Trap
It sounds like a question…
but you feel cornered, there is no right answer.
The Belief Lock
You’re not really listening…
you’re just waiting for your turn to confirm what you already believe.
The Undercurrent
You’re talking about the issue…
but the real thing bothering you didn’t even make it into the conversation.
The Missed Signal
You ever turn a two-word reply into a full emotional documentary?
Yeah. That’s your brain filling in blanks like it’s getting paid for it.
The Storm Maker
You’re “just being honest”…
and somehow the whole room feels like a tornado alert just went off.
The Blur
You said yes…
Why do you keep doing this to yourself, you need to say no.
The Fixer
They started explaining…
and you were already halfway solving it, and resent that you have to be the one doing it.
The Hot Button
That reaction felt a little… bigger than the moment, didn’t it?
Yeah. Something old just showed up in something new.
The Puppet Master
You’re asking questions…
but It feels like they are stearing the whole conversation.
The Override
You felt something was off…
but dismissed it as over thinking, or you might hurt someones feelings, so you dissmissed your feelings.
The Not Enough
You walked in already guarding something…
like there wasn’t enough to go around
The Ghost Tone
You read their text…
and knew the tone in their voice, the roll in their eyes and how they scoffed at your even texting them.
Which lens do you use the most without realizing it?
Reality
Lenses form from
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Past experiences
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Beliefs
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Triggers
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Fears
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Needs
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Identity
Your Reaction
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What you say
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What you feel
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What you assume
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How you act
“Your reaction is based on your lens”
The Missed Signal
The signals are there, but they don’t see them. The employee’s tone changes. Their energy drops. Their body tightens. Maybe they get quieter or slower. But the boss keeps assigning work like everything is fine. They are focused on the task, not the person. They are listening to words, not noticing what’s underneath. They miss the emotional and physical cues that something is off, even though those signals are always there if you know how to look for them
Distorted Lens → Conflict
The Blur
They don’t have a clear line. They keep saying yes when they mean no. At first, it feels like being helpful, being a team player. But over time, everything piles up. They are overwhelmed, stretched thin, and quietly frustrated.
They don’t speak up because they want to avoid tension or disappointment. So instead of setting a boundary early, they absorb more and more until they hit a breaking point.
What’s really happening underneath is they are carrying work that may not even be theirs. They haven’t separated what is their responsibility and what belongs to someone else, so everything becomes theirs.
How this turns toxic
​The employee keeps taking on more, saying yes, and building resentment.
The boss keeps giving more, thinking everything is working.
No one names what’s actually happening.
The employee eventually burns out or snaps.
The boss feels blindsided.
Now both sides feel wronged:
“I was drowning and you didn’t care.”
“You never told me there was a problem.”
This is how a quiet misalignment turns into a full breakdown. Not because anyone meant harm, but because both lenses stayed unchecked.
Clear Lens → Understanding
The Clear Line
They notice it early. The workload is building, and instead of pushing it down, they pause and name it.
Not aggressively. Not emotionally. Just clearly.​
“Hey, I want to make sure I’m doing this well. I’m at capacity right now. If I take more on, I will have to put something else on hold. Can we look at priorities together?”
They’re not saying no to the work. They’re bringing reality into the room.
They understand what is theirs to carry and what isn’t. They stop over-owning everything and start inviting clarity instead of silently absorbing pressure.
The Seen Signal
This lens slows down enough to notice. The shift in tone. The hesitation. The change in energy.
Instead of pushing forward, they get curious.
“Wow, thats alot of work, let me find someone else to take this on and see if I can get someone to help you.”
They don’t assume. They check.
They recognize that performance isn’t just about output, it’s about capacity. And they understand that if they miss the signal now, they pay for it later.
So they adjust in real time.
How this creates alignment
The employee feels safe enough to be honest. The boss feels informed instead of blindsided.
Now the conversation becomes collaborative instead of reactive.
“What should we move?”
“What’s most important right now?”
“What can wait?”
This is where real agreement happens. Not in the pressure, but in the clarity.
The work gets done.
The relationship stays intact.
And both people leave with more trust than they started with.
Now That You See It… What Do You Do With It?
Seeing your lens is the first step. But awareness alone does not change anything.
If you can spot the distortion, you can start looking for what is still true between you and the other person.
That is where agreement begins.
“Even through a distorted lens, there is always something true you can find.”​
